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15 funny quotes

1.    
"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"

2.    
"If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark."

3.    
"An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing."

4.    
"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

5.    
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."

6.    
"Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children."

7.    
"When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?".If the bus came would I be standing here?"

8.   
"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times."

9.   
"Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference."

10.   
"It's always darkest before dawn So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. "

11.   
"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."

12.    
"The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot; The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius. "

13.    
"If our constitution allows us free speech, why are there phone bills?"

14.    
"If you can't convince them, confuse them."

15.    
"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of  what I am saying."


1 Comments for "15 funny quotes"

No.15 is such a classic, might come in handy during a conversation some day ;)

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